BEXHILL SCHOOL

Well, I suppose she thinks she's being considerate! All day I've had to wait for this moment. I knew at once when the maths teacher caught me cheating and told me that he was reporting me to the Headmistress that there could only be one outcome: six of the best with the cane - maybe even more.

Normally, I would have got it over and done with after lunch, but Mrs Winchester had had to go to some urgent appointment and the school secretary told me that the HM would see me when she got back that evening. So I had to endure the day and supper and then wait in my dorm until that smug Prefect came to tell me that Mrs W would see me now.

When I got down to the study I received the usual lecture about the wrongs of cheating, and then she asked me if I knew what the penalty was for such behaviour. I just nodded and she "All right, prepare yourself, you're getting six." Thank God: I really thought she might sentence me to twelve strokes.

I took off my shoes and skirt, as custom requires, and pulled down my knickers, and was just about to bend over the desk when Mrs W slips this cushion thing on to the surface.

"Maybe you'll find this more comfortable," she said.

'More comfortable?!' 'More comfortable' would be if she put away that cane and brought out a feather duster! Sometimes it's really hard to follow a teacher's logic.

Anyway, just as I was about to make myself 'comfortable' over the stupid cushion, the bloody telephone rings.

"Won't be moment," says Mrs W, "Hello? Hello? Yes, the Headmistress speaking..." and now she's off into a whole discussion with Miranda's parents about the travel arrangements for the end of term.

And I'm just standing here, half naked, waiting until the kindly Mrs W lays six purple stripes across my backside.